"It's about time I get homesick, huh?"
At least, that's what I admitted to myself yesterday. It's been about two weeks, so I can't help but think that happened earlier than I anticipated. The rush of moving has passed, and now I think I’m starting to realize it. I'm fiercely Italian, so it only made sense to name this post after a spaghetti western classic.
Before I get into it, don't feel worried (@my parents)! Remember, I'm barely 22, I just finished school, I have no idea what I'm doing, and on top of all that, I'm away from home. It's only natural that I might panic here and there. Please don't believe there is any ounce of regret in my words. I am proud and excited to be here in Alaska, but I’d rather talk about these feelings than pretend they don't exist.
The Good
So many, many things have been good. They definitely outweigh the bad and the ugly. I’m meeting new people, trying new foods, finding new wild plants and wildlife, seeing the ice breakup on the Kotzebue Sound, observing new cultures and traditions, and experiencing 24/7 daylight. There’s also so many cool things in my future, like berry-picking, the local fish market (hello, fresh salmon), tundra camping, and beach bonfires. I’ve got a great summer in store, that’s for sure.
The Bad
I haven’t told anyone yet, but I left my ukulele in the overhead compartment on the last flight here. I remember that last flight being very stressful because it was delayed. When we landed, I felt pressured to grab my things as quickly as possible so that I wouldn’t hold up everyone behind me. I rushed off the plane and didn’t notice it was missing until it was too late.
I called about 10 different numbers 30 different times, waited on hold forever, but refused to quit. I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone until it arrived safely back to me. This ukulele was a gift, and probably one of the most special gifts I have ever received. I’m thankful it has finally arrived at the post office with not a scratch on it. I wish I could especially thank the woman I spoke with on the phone in Anchorage for actually taking the time to locate and carefully pack my bag. You deserve a bigger paycheck.
The Ugly
I'm feeling a little anxious, and I think it has something to do with a few different factors. Maybe it's seeing all you lovely people swim in the best Michigan lakes, or seeing my friends party together downtown; Maybe it’s because my hands can't seem to make any art I like, even though I'm incredibly inspired; Maybe it’s because by the time I'm out of work all my family and friends at home are asleep; Maybe it’s because I'm worrying about what I'm going to do when this temporary job ends rather than live in the now. Whatever it is, it’s entirely personal and has nothing to do with Kotzebue or my job, and there’s not much I can do but breathe.
Things I’ve Learned
I’m going to be just fine.
I know this. I’ll make more mistakes (hopefully they won’t involve any more airline lost items departments), but if I’ve learned anything from the negative experiences I’ve had so far, I will work it out and make it through just fine. As for what I’ll do after this job ends, I still have no clue, and that will always still give me anxiety until I land my next gig. But I’ll make it through.
Take my hand-dandy camera and binoculars everywhere!
This should be a given! I often convince myself that I won’t need them, but I always do.
Do whatever it takes to never, ever leave anything on a plane.
Check and double-check that you have all your things. Hold up the line as long as you need. Forget the people giving you dirty looks. But if you do leave something on a plane, make sure to hunt it down until you’ve exhausted every resource yourself. I know that airlines aren’t liable for lost things, but I didn’t realize they truly don’t give a damn. I will never make that mistake again.
Living away from home is a worthwhile experience, but it’s not without its hiccups.
Sometimes you’ll feel homesick, but this doesn’t mean you’re weak. Instead, address and think about how you’re feeling so that you can learn new things about yourself. Try writing about it, I promise it helps!